Saturday, August 11, 2018

The Meg (2018)

Rated: PG-13 - Runtime: 113 min
tesg's Rating: Two and one half stars (out of four)

This is about as big and dumb as movies get with just about every gimmick these movies use, from the down and out hero to the nemesis of the down and out hero to the budding romance to the cute and unusually bright kid who has no business being anywhere near such a situation to the OH MY GOD DID THE SHARK EAT THE CUTE LITTLE DOG OR THAT GUY IN THE INFLATABLE HAMSTER BALL to the...well, you get the idea.

It has three too many plot twists and three too many endings, but it was still a better production than I was expecting. Still, not even remotely on the level of the second greatest shark movie ever made (Jaws) or the greatest (The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou).

Saturday, August 4, 2018

Eighth Grade (2018)

Rated: R - Runtime: 93 min
tesg's Rating: Three stars (out of four)

That scene in the mall at the food court where Kayla is hanging with the high school kids and smiling and nodding and feeling embarrassingly out of place? That's me to this day at any lunch or dinner I have to go to with people I don't know. Except that I usually want to kill everyone there.

Saturday, July 28, 2018

Mission: Impossible - Fallout

Rated: PG-13 - Runtime: 147 min
tesg's Rating: Three stars (out of four)

This is one hell of an action thriller, thanks entirely to the action. The story is a parts bin assembly of Bond and M:I-style sequences that we've seen before. So while being really unoriginal, it's a ton of fun and really well put together.

Now what I want to see is "Hot Shots! 3" where Charlie Sheen satirizes the hell out of Ethan Hunt.