Friday, March 29, 2019

Us (2019)

Rated: R - Runtime: 116 minutes
tesg's Rating: Three stars (out of four)

The big problem with this feature is that it’s waaay too long. But at the same time, I don’t know what I would have cut out.

It’s more original than the Stepford Wives reboot that was Get Out and nearly (not quite) as well done.

Dumbo (2019)

Rated: PG - Runtime: 112 minutes
tesg's Rating: One and one half star (out of four)

The fitting result of this movie would be that the person at Disney who green-lit this archaic, outdated script that has no place in the modern era even considering it’s a period piece is nicknamed “Dumbo” for the rest of their career.

Thursday, March 28, 2019

Captain Marvel (2019)

Rated: PG-13 - Runtime: 124 min
tesg's Rating: Two and one half stars (out of four)

“Vers” (pronounced “Veirs” like indie folk rock goddess Laura Veirs), later to be revealed as Carol Danvers (no relation to Kara know, Supergirl) can clearly kick ass but has a history of being held back because she’s a girl. Seriously, they overplay the crap out of this, including a scene where a fellow pilot tells her “there’s a reason it’s called a COCKpit.” I spent a lot of time glaring at the screen over this nonsense. This wasn’t set that far back in time (1995 if you’re making wagers.)

Vers is on the good guy team trying to take out the bad guys...or IS she? Between manipulation and her own memory issues, who knows. At the point they twist the plot, if I were her, I’d have said “Screw you all, I don’t trust any of you”, locked myself in my home, taken meals via delivery, and binge watched my shows for the rest of my life. Not even the cat can be trusted in this movie, a fact that is probably the most obvious to see coming.